From My Father: Wisdom and Wackiness

Throughout my life, my father has always been willing to dispense his views on what I ought to be doing at any given time. He’d check how many layers of clothing I had on before I left for elementary school each morning to make sure that I was sufficiently protected in the Southern California environment. If I was sick, he’d prescribe slipping a eucalyptus oil-soaked paper towel underneath all my clothes. “It’s more potent than Vick’s Vapor Rub!” he said. I experienced aromatherapy way before it was hip.

When we first came to the United States, I fortunately had an opportunity to spend a lot of quality time with my father. As the youngest child, I was his pal and we spent hours together exploring the aisles of the Akron (a precursor to Cost Plus), munching on croissants and baguette at local bakeries (some owned by Vietnamese émigrés), and sipping cognac and sampling obscure French wines from Trader Joe’s. He and I would tool around in our blue Mercury Comet to make our rounds to the local thrift shops. We’d check the inventory and my dad would inevitably say to me in Vietnamese, “I wouldn’t pay more than X for that!” Then, he’d go to work on the saleswomen, who mostly fell victim to his persistence and charm. Dad knew how to stretch a dollar.

Whenever I visit my folks nowadays, my dad is ready with his latest theories about food. The photo above is from a lunch we had at my parents’ home in February 2009. Dad is emphatically selling everyone on his latest method of building a Vietnamese rice noodle bowl. The main dish was cha ca Ha Noi, a northern Vietnamese preparation of catfish seasoned by turmeric, galangal, and dill that’s served with bun rice noodles and a dipping sauce of fermented shrimp sauce (mam tom). We’d eaten that dish a zillion times before and my sisters Linh and Tasha and my husband Rory and I knew how to assemble the dish in our separate bowls. I don’t know how many bottles of wine had gone around the table but Dad insisted that his method – soak the cooked fish in the dipping sauce before adding it to rest of the ingredients – delivered a superior flavor punch.

Linh, Tasha, Rory, and I defended our throw-everything-into-the-bowl-all-once approach as being our favorite. But my father, who somehow got my mother’s support from the other end of the table, insisted that his was the ‘right’ method and ours was lacking. We verbally jousted for a while. Then he knew he had us when he said: “The cha ca tastes better with the wine if you soak the fish first.”

We each tried his method, and well, he was right.

Happy Father’s Day Bố Già*

Have some fatherly wisdom and/or wackiness to share? Don't hold back!

Notes:

• * In Vietnamese, Bố Già literally means Old Daddy and figuratively means the Man in Charge.
• Read my 2009 Mother's Day tribute in "My Mother's Kitchen Quirks". The first photo on that post is of Mom dishing out the cha ca fish that I refer to above.

Comments

[Tuty]

OMG, I thought the eucalyptus oil is an Indonesian thing....Now I think that it may be a Southeast Asian thing. Of course when I use it now, my kids would say that I smell like old people. LOL.

My father loved simple food (to his children, it's boring). Kecap manis omelette with steamed rice and fresh sambal. Can't be simpler than that.

His wisdom: Don't be wasteful (he couldn't get over the throw away society this country has become)

Cheers to all dad!

[Andrea Nguyen]

Tuty, LOL, LOL!!! Eucalyptus oil for Indos too? I never realized. Tell you the truth, when I get a really bad cold nowadays, I dab a little under my nose to relieve the congestion.

Good question: Is eucalyptus oil a Southeast Asian thing? Anyone else subject to it?

[Carolyn Jung]

Father knows best! The name of an old-school TV show, and of course, a philosophy every Asian child knows to live by.

[Andrea Nguyen]

Oh Carolyn, I remember watching re-runs of Father Knows Best. Oye... the Dick Van Dyke show was more my taste.

[Alice]

That is a really cute photo of your dad! I love that you have Vicks Vapor Rub as a tag. :)

[Andrea Nguyen]

My father is one of the most photogenic people I know. Where did it go? It skipped me...

[Phuong]

I was emotional when reading this post about your dad. My dad passed away two years ago, so whenever I read stories between fathers/daughters, it touches my heart in a special way. Wishing your father lots of good health.

[Andrea Nguyen]

Phuong, thank you for your comments. They really mean a lot. I will pass your note to my dad, who printed this out and gave it to my mom to read!

[sur]

this is very nice heart touching post. though i m not a vietnamese but reading this post made me felt that the affection between father and daughter across races is the same. Father's are always bent on giving their life long wisdom to beloved sons and daughters.