Summer will soon be upon us and that signals special celebrations like graduations and -- weddings! My wedding reception was a casual-but-elegant garden affair that initially horrified my mother when we announced the plans. Though she later told me that it was much more than she expected, my parents no doubt would have been more comfortable with the standard multi-course Chinese banquet that defines Vietnamese weddings.
If you've been invited to a Vietnamese wedding this summer, here's an Ao Dai Vietnam blog posting on what to expect in terms of timeliness, gifts, food, and music.
Got any tips or experiences to share?
Just attended a good friends wedding this past weekend.
1) Vietnamese (men) drink Martell (cognac) w/ lots of club soda and ice. It's a long night, so pace yourself.
2) Give cash. Average is $100 or more, dependent on how well you know them. The Bride/Groom party will make the rounds to each table. Hand your "gift" envelope to the designated speaker (person that knows the bride/groom more or whom drew the short stick) of the table.
3) Have a glass full of cognac/etc ready for the groom to drink. Entire table clink your chopsticks to glass to cheer.
3) The band will suck, drink more alcohol to improve/handle/deal with their sound.
Posted by: -tvu | June 03, 2008 at 10:56 PM
Oh, Andrea
I didn't have the Wedding Banquet either and you would not believe the amount of whining that ensued, mostly from my sister. This was the dialogue:
Her: Why don't you have a banquet????
Me: Because I've been to 50 in my life time and they're all the same. Don't you want to try something different?
Her: But Brunch is just breakfast food! That's so cheap!
People aren't going to give you any money if you don't serve them at least 7 course?
Me: My reception is NOT a fundraiser!
My mother was actually cool about a Brunch reception. And in the end, we all had a lot of fun, though Whiny Sister sulked about the food. Can't please everyone.
Posted by: Lili | June 04, 2008 at 09:27 AM
Tips for those attending a Vietnamese wedding for the first time:
- Almost everyone arrives about 1/2+ hour after the set time for the reception to start. My family calls it "Viet Time". Unless you get a note or call that the festivities will start on time.
- If you bring your kids or anyone else, please know that it's proper to give a gift (i.e. money) that's appropriate for the size of your party.
- I would take some ballroom dance lessons. Some of these people are really good dancers. It can be totally intimidating. And don't expect that much hip-hop or dance music (if any).
- When you arrive, you get to greet the happy couple at the door and take a picture with them. Then you go and scout your seat. Pick the one the farthest away from the speakers and the dance floor. Most Vietnamese receptions do not have assigned seating, and if they did, some people would just ignore it.
- Hold the glass clinking (sp?) to a minimum. It gets annoying after the 3rd time (in a hour).
- Pace yourself with the food. There are usually 9-10 courses. For me the best courses are towards the end.
Posted by: Lili | June 04, 2008 at 09:44 AM
That is so very true -- everything you've written. The ballroom dancing -- goodness, yes. I've been to a wedding with that too. There was a singer there as well, and videographer with the full lighting set-up. As guests, we were merely props.
My uncle got loaded on a 7-Up and cognac, which he called "Vietnamese wedding ice tea." The drinking is done mostly by men, something that I somewhat resent, but hey, it's custom. The ladies 'don't know how to drink.'
Posted by: Andrea Nguyen | June 04, 2008 at 10:12 AM
Hehe, I've been to a few Vietnamese weddings in Vietnam, but never in the US. Next up is my brother-in-law's wedding (also in Vietnam).
I'm not an expert (my husband is Vn but we got to skip the 300-person wedding in Vn his parents wanted us to have in favor of a small wedding here) but it sounds a little different than my experiences in Vn. There, everyone drinks beer (no cognac, but there was other straight alcohol for some people). And no one dances! It was like, speeches... eating... the EVERYONE DISAPPEARS! ^_^
Posted by: Tori | October 13, 2009 at 11:28 AM